You will also sleep in a pod next to your coworkers so you can collaborate 24/7. You will own nothing, you will get no bonuses or raises, you will be happy. We will provide you food. You WILL eat bugs and you will enjoy it. You will also worship us at town halls and pay homage to St Floyd.
12 replies (most recent on top)
Eat ze bugs
Get the vax so you can get back to your wage cage
We don’t feed employees.
So when Velma and Fred pull the "Todd" mask off of the villain... zoinks! It's Charlie Scharf!
@2wkt+1bLS0oJd forgot to mention that moving forward, only very few people will be using their names - everyone else will be using their comit ids as names. This will be added to "Absolutely NO decorations or any remembrance of humanity can be found at your cubicle".
Due to a poll collected and conducted solely by myself, it stated everyone wants to head back into the office. Great! I care sooo, sooo, sooo much about diversity. Diversity, strength, excellence. Ignorance is strength, and freedom is slavery. I REALLY care about diversity. Please attend my diversity meeting at 12. Bugs will be provided. I repeat, bugs WILL be provided. Also, LUCKILY we will be able to see your every movement from the Aruba Tags. You will need 50 COVID-19 tests before entering into the office, even if you are vaccinated. Absolutely NO decorations or any remembrance of humanity can be found at your cubicle.
Now get back to work, useless eaters.
Never let a crisis go to waste,
Sinisterly,
Tad Gabaines
Funniest post ever seen here!
People need to comment on MySource
Genesis 2:18–25: Then the LORD God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.' ... So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.
Hilarious!
"Wow buddy, you need to get out of the house!"
You're kind of missing the whole point of the post, aren't you? For enlightenment, please refer to Todd's post in MySource that is getting about a 500 to 1 response rate AGAINST having everyone return to working in the office.
Wow buddy, you need to get out of the house!