three, four, HR won't even show you the door (bc you are WfH)
five, six, too many problems to fix
seven, eight, don't try to contemplate
nine, ten, shipping your job to India again...
157 replies (most recent on top)
I got flagged recently and got a PIP
Now my career is over and RIP
They talk about the future of cryto and bitcoin
Instead I got RIFed and got kicked in the groin
They tell me I’ve been trained in A I
When what I really want to do is cry
All day long it smells like curry
Just lay me off in a great big hurry
A poem about banks:
JPM Chase is a very large bank
Wells Fargo is one that stank
Citibank had problems and its stock price sank
But BNY of course is in the tank.
Put robin into a driverless car
I promise you he won’t go very far
CEOs only think about dollars and cents
No wonder why we’re all so tense
Northern trust really has my trust
Bny is a great big bust
All because of robin Vince
Let’s face it he ain’t no prince
Hamilton is a popular play
Aaron Burr had much to say
Though Alexander would be rolling in his grave
The bank he founded has nothing to save
Bank o New York was the name
A name of honor and trust
Not any more
As fear and greed has taken refuge.
Returns is what they are after
Although Hamilton will never return
People leave and the good ones have left
But no returns left to return now.
@6p81
Mellon once stood tall with gleaming might,
Its towers glowing through the night.
But greed and pride began to swell,
And cracks soon formed where power fell.
Yet management held firm and true,
A guiding light the workers knew.
Though Mellon sank in ruthless flame,
Her grace and care outlived its name.
BNY once stood tall with gleaming might,
Its towers glowing through the night.
But greed and pride began to swell,
And cracks soon formed where power fell.
Yet Emily in HR held firm and true,
A guiding light the workers knew.
Though BNY sank in ruthless flame,
Her grace and care outlived its name.
Mellon or not here I come
BNY a place for the d-mb
Asset servicing goes down the drain
That's how I end this little refrain
Batman told Robin “We’ve got to save Gotham”
Robin E.Vinced an incredible sneer
Alfred joined in with support of the Batman
Robin displaced them right then and there.
I used to work in asset tech
And I became an emotional wreck
Farewell to Charlie and Robin
Every day I leave here sobbin’
The new thing here is RTO
A crazy edict from the CEO
Asset tech us incredibly slow
I work there so I really know
240g cafeteria infested with mice
Moldy bagels not very nice
Hamilton turning over in his grave
A bad place to work we can’t save
BNY Mellon is not a good place
A CIO with a fat horse face
A stock price I can easily date
It’s the same as 1998
I’m sitting here in a coffee shop
On the table my resume on top
Freshly laid off with nothing to do
I have no talent old or new
Every day the office smells like curry
Out I go and in a hurry
More than ever we staff in you know where
And less and less in New York here
Correcting the rhyme:
On a day I'm working from home
With the TV remote I thee roam
Conference call camera I have to turn on
Put on my pants, or else I'm gone
On a day I'm working from home
With the TV remote I thee room
Conference call camera I have to turn on
Put on my pants, or else I'm gone
A poem for BNYM management:
I think that I shall never see
A layoff as lovely as a tree
Banks are run by fools like you
But only Robin can be one too
It's time we had more RTO
Into the office we now go
If you think that's bad
Then quit your job my good lad
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I was laid off instead
And so will you
Alexander Hamilton was a great man
Andrew Mellon was a great leader
Robin Vince invented the bedpan
Brigit Engle is a fat bottom feeder
Hickory di-kory dock
My layoff ran up the clock
The clock struck one
My career went went down
Hickory di-kory dock
Today was the day
I got my SUB pay
Good bye to BNYM
I won't miss them.
We wish you a merry layoff
We wish you a merry layoff
We wish you a merry layoff
And a happy new year
The once was a company from Venus
Whose management was full of stupidity and meanness
The placed burned us out
With surely no doubt
Laid off from the company from Venus
P.I.P’s the way to Go
Work a year, take it slow
Play the game & meet your goals
All while searching outside roles
Shock ‘em when it’s time to blow
I was a manager, then one day
I got bumped down in title with a lower pay
Then my job went overseas
Based on upper management silly decrees
My name is Bob
I got a new job
I won't miss Vince
He ain't no prince
India employment continues to grow
While American employees get let go
A company completely lacking in morals
Incompetent management mired in quarrels
I'm back again with a lovely poem
I collect my severance as I stay home
I miss the office and its smell of curry
At each day's end I would leave in a hurry
Say you must to RTO
A horrible bank and even so
Charlie and Todd and now we have Vince
It's enough to make you frequently wince
Our stock is at an all time low
For my employer another big blow
My career here is ever so slow
In my back pocket my resume in tow
There once was a thing called Bitcoin
Which BNYM started to join
Then it started to crash
With a big loud bash
That wonderful investment called bitcoin
The B of A era was fun.
She cashed in her options day one
Then Bridget got mired
in Greenfield and hired
Offshore Ops to follow the sun.
Does anyone have any new poems?
Goldman started layoffs today
Blackrock follows some other day
Most of us here can only say
Please lay me off, if you may
January 9th is but a rumor
Propagated by doom & gloomers
We can’t wait to get back in the saddle
Get to focus on what really matters
The BNYM poet has come back
This new guy is just another corporate hack
Be prepared for layoffs soon
By Monday the ninth right around noon