(Verse 1)
Oh the bald man arrived with a spreadsheet in hand
Declared, “I’ll bring order to this unruly land!”
He counts every swipe like a shepherd with sheep
And tracks your logins while you’re fast asleep
(Verse 2)
He’s got charts for your hours, your trainings, your clicks
And a heatmap of Eliza use—just for kicks
If you skipped the survey, beware of his wrath
He’ll reroute your badge to the janitor’s path
(Chorus)
So juggle your tasks like a circus delight
While the bald man insists you’re not swiping right
He’s leading us all to new corporate heights
On a unicycle made of compliance and fright
(Verse 3)
He dreams of a firm where no one can hide
Where your keystrokes and coffee breaks all coincide
He’s got dashboards and metrics and graphs that explode
And a hamster wheel built into Microsoft Teams mode
(Bridge)
The interns all whisper, “He’s watching us now…”
While he calibrates pulse checks with a furrowed brow
He’s the ringleader, gatekeeper, survey czar too
And he’s got a KPI for how often you do #2
(Chorus)
So juggle your tasks like a circus delight
While the bald man insists you’re not swiping right
He’s leading us all to new corporate heights
On a unicycle made of compliance and fright
(Outro)
So here’s to the bald man, our metrics messiah
May your dashboards be clean and your badge swipes inspire
But if freedom should knock, or morale takes a dive
We’ll blame it on Eliza and pretend we’re alive