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Mike Lyons gets 70 million while forgoing raises or bonus’s for employees

Mike Lyons gets 70 million in year one while cutting staff, forgoing bonuses or salary increases for many if not all, stating market and company talking points around why they cannot spend money. All while taking 70 million 😂

Incredible leadership. Just who everyone wants to follow!


New Message

Team,
​First, I want to commend everyone on how beautifully you’ve adapted to our Personal Waste Ownership Initiative. By removing individual trash cans and requiring everyone to carry their own garbage three flights down to the central loading dock, we saved $4,200 annually in plastic liners. More importantly, I’ve noticed a real sense of pride as you carry your banana peels around all day. That is the grit that makes us a family.

​However, Q2 margins are still looking a bit "soft," and frankly, my bonus shouldn't have to suffer for it. To ensure we remain a lean, mean, profit-generating machine, we are implementing the following cost-cutting measures, effective immediately:
​1. The "Breathable Air" Optimization Program
​We’ve noticed a lot of erratic, deep breathing during stressful client calls. To reduce wear and tear on our HVAC filtration systems, the office oxygen levels will be dialed back to a crisp, simulating a productive high-altitude environment (roughly 11,000 feet).
​Action Item: If you feel lightheaded, please utilize the corporate-approved hyperventilation stance (head between knees) on your own time.

​2. BYO-Electricity (Bring Your Own Juice)
​Leaving monitors and laptops plugged into the company grid is costing us thousands. Starting Monday, wall outlets will be locked.
​The Solution: Employees are encouraged to bring their own fully charged power banks from home. For those looking to gamify their wellness, we have installed two Stationary Power-Bikes in the breakroom. If your laptop is dying, you may pedal at a minimum of 85 RPM to generate your own electricity. (Note: Pedaling time does not count toward billable hours).

​3. Micro-Tiered Restroom Subscriptions
​Frankly, the restroom has become a hotbed for unbilled leisure time. To counteract this, we are introducing Tiered Toilet Paper Access:
​Standard Tier (Free): 1 ply, single square per visit, sandpaper grit.
​Premium Tier ($4.99/month): 2 ply, quilted. (Billed directly via payroll deduction).
​Add-on: The Fluorescent Lighting Pass ($1.99/visit). If you choose not to pay, the motion-sensor lights will remain off, allowing you to reflect on your KPIs in total darkness.

​4. Caloric Efficiency & Mandatory Fasting
​The complimentary coffee machine is gone. In its place, we are installing a single, lukewarm Corporate Nutrient Spigot dispensing a gray, flavorless caloric paste. It contains 100% of your daily vitamins, eliminating the need for long, unproductive lunch breaks.
​Bonus: Because chewing is a known distractor, this will strictly be a liquid-diet initiative.

​5. Blinking Quotas
​Studies show that the average human blinks 15–20 times per minute, resulting in roughly 4.8 minutes of total darkness per employee, per day. Across a department of 50 people, that is four hours of unearned sleep daily.
​Please try to synchronize your blinking with your teammates, or better yet, practice the "sustained focus stare." Optical lubricant eyedrops will be available for purchase at the front desk.
​"Efficiency is doing things right. Total corporate austerity is doing things so right it hurts."
​I know change can be uncomfortable, but remember: every penny we save on lightbulbs and toilet paper is a penny that goes directly into securing the company's future (and my new yacht, The ROI).
​Let’s get out there and crush it!


Hourly employee .. paid twice today?

I received two separate payments today. One appears to be my regular paycheck, and the other shows a gross amount of $500 with a net payment of $150.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Could this be a payroll error, a bonus, or some type of adjustment? I’m planning to contact payroll, but I was curious if anyone has seen this before.


Cengage - Sorry for those not at the top

Cengage continues to show its true colors and it just keeps getting worse... On May 26th an email went out to people leaders letting them know that employees that made a Transformative or Outstanding impact would receive an impact award (if they are not on the normal Incentive plan). This is typically a small bonus like 5%.

On June 2nd, HR emailed people leaders again saying our bad, that's not actually going to happen. This happening after many managers have already spoken to employees. and now Managers are having to break the news to their employees.

Now, for the people who are on the incentive plan with a 10% - 40% bonus, just need to get achieved (significant impact) for it to pay out. and it is still going to.

In other words, to the people that have a job profile not allowing them to be on the incentive plan but absolutely crushed it this year, I am sorry and unfortunately Cengage is giving you the middle finger and has no desire to walk back their walk back.


Does anyone have experience or knowledge of others who have retired in the current calelander year and still recieved thier bonus the following

Does anyone have experience or knowledge of others who have retired in the current calelander year and still recieved thier bonus the following year? Documentation says it's the process, but......?


What did the severance, shares, and bonus packages actually look like?

To everyone who served their last day on May 29th, thank you for everything you’ve contributed here..

As the community navigates this transition, many are trying to understand the baseline support the company provided. If you feel comfortable sharing, could you shed some light on the standard severance packages? Specifically:

Salary: Did the company stick to the standard 2 weeks of pay per year of service (up to a 6-month max), or did those with shorter tenures (like 3 years or less) get a flat baseline?

Shares: Did they pay out any shares based on their current vesting value, or did all share vesting completely cut off on May 29th?

Bonus & Benefits: Were annual bonuses pro-rated based on the time you worked this year, and are they subsidizing health insurance (COBRA)?

Wishing you all the absolute best on your next chapters!


IBP adjusted so we can’t all reap the success?

Dell adjusted the FY27 company bonus plan to have a lower waiting on a revenue this year.

Dell knew that the revenue would be much higher this year when contracts were booked in fy26, sales were rewarded. Revenue follows cost/shipping (accounting).

Is this true?

Okay… yes all you directors and i10s may have shares LTI. But most of us i6-i8 have squat :(


Do we get any free banana bonus yet ?

Holly sh-t … 30% bonus bump for TSMC guys. What the f-c k you are doing here ?

Too jealous and really stupid still working at this shitTel

https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/economy/tsmc-ceo-promises-staff-massive-30-bonus-bump-as-profits-surge-this-is-a-clear-message-for-tsm-stock-bulls/ar-AA24iuhd


So we fire lots of people, we use ai for everything, and I’m doing 3 times the work I did 2 years ago. Why is vz stock barely moving since..

….mid March. Seriously, Dan be like ‘AI efficiency” and ‘we must tighten our belt and layoff’ and we’re still sh---y. Pay me Danny boy. You made a sh-t deal with the unions but have always paid us. All that moolah you got saved should be coming back to us. Sh-t, even throw the union some type of bonus for bending over on a bad contract.

Also that voice changer stuff is racist as he-l.


Waiting for potential severance or retirement

Is there any advantage to informing HR about retirement plans ahead of time? With the possibility of layoffs and severance packages at Bank, I’m unsure whether I should let HR know that I’m planning to retire in July. I would also be eligible for a half-year bonus since I have 10+ years. Could notifying HR about my retirement plans affect my chances of being included in a layoff or receiving severance?


No IPI Dollar Amount in Severance Letter?

Did anyone else affected by the Intuit layoffs who is IPI eligible get a severance letter that includes the number of weeks of severance and COBRA info, but no specific dollar amount of IPI listed? Some of my colleagues had dollar amounts included (which were of course lower amounts than they typically get), but my letter only generally referenced if you are eligible for IPI it will be paid out with your final paycheck. I think they are going to sc--w me out of my bonus?


Deloitte Audit Division Experiences Staff Reductions

Deloitte recently conducted layoffs within its audit division. These reductions affected employees, including senior managers. The layoffs occurred shortly before annual bonuses were scheduled. Affected individuals reported the process felt impersonal. One senior manager received severance and bonus payout.

https://www.goingconcern.com/layoff-watch-26-deloitte-auditors-got-bad-news-this-week/


Vice Presidents

Can we hire some more vice presidents? The more vice presidents we hire, the more Expand has to pay the worker bees to put up with the extra BS. Then we can get a raise! In reality, we challenge the vice presidents to justify their salaries and bonuses to the stock holders. We know they are worthless from the inside view of the company. Oh, they will claim the worker bees' accomplishments, but we know who really gets the work done around here. And we don't have skeletons on our closet.


How to get a higher WHAT and HOW score?

It seems that now our bonuses are also calculated with the WHAT and HOW scores. My manager created easy goals for a couple of colleagues who are her friends and asked them to copy paste them in the system. But with me, we used AI and my my goals are almost impossible to achieve. I don't think I shall get a good WHAT or HOW score even if I try too hard. And because the success of my goals is dependent on others, I am finding it hard to show that I am working harder than the colleagues with easier goals. Long story short, it feels like the new performance management makes it super easy for managers to give more bonus and salary appraisal to their friends. Is moving into another team my only choice? Are they really planning layoffs by giving bad scores? Some colleague was saying that a PiP means you don't even get severance and they can lay you off anytime. I can't ask my manager yet because she is very politik and cares more about networking than about our work. If the culture is only going to get worse I may even look for a job outside but there aren't many opportunities right now. I am based near Heidelberg in case that matters.


Are we eligible for annual bonus payouts?

I wad impacted today after being at the company for 5 years. The one question I forgot to ask was around our annual bonus payout. Since it appears everyone will still be on payroll and “employees” until 60 days from now (July 18th), will we be receiving out ICP bonus payout?


Another Form of Quiet Layoffs

Cutting bonuses drastically by raising metrics incrementally every year, until they're just out of reach. Q1 2026 quarterly bonus dropped $1500 for me compared to other quarters and my performance increased this year. The base isn't the best, so you have to rely on bonuses to make up for it. All that makes people want to do it put in less effort, which I'll be doing.


The Trend is Not Your Friend

Has anyone else noticed that for the past 2 years we have been making LESS money.

It appears that our we-ponized ranking system is definitely paying dividends.

A few more people in the PIP aught to do it. Let’s go ahead and run off our most experienced personnel and outsource overseas.

To the board…..keep up the great work. Y’all all deserve bonuses.

Inflation-adjusted profits (millions USD, in April 2026 dollars):
• Q1 2026 (ended Mar 31): $4,183 → ~$4,220 (minimal adjustment)
• Q4 2025: $6,501 → ~$6,630
• Q3 2025: $7,548 → ~$7,720
• Q2 2025: $7,082 → ~$7,280
• Q1 2025: $7,713 → ~$7,980
• Q4 2024: $7,610 → ~$7,950
• Q3 2024: $8,610 → ~$9,050
• Q2 2024: $9,240 → ~$9,750


WE WON!!!

WFH PSC, PSC, RETAIL ORANGE CONTRACT IS ALMOST DONE , AND SHOULD BE SIGNED BY MAY 22nd! THE TOWN HALL MEETING WITH THE UNION WAS GREAT, SO MANY INCREASES IN PAY, BENEFITS, AND BONUSES! WFH IS SECURED UNTIL 2030! AT&T APPRECIATES ITS WORKERS! THANK YOU SO MUCH TELECOM GIANT!